Help! My Boyfriend Wants to Break Up!!!
I have been with my boyfriend Jimmy for a few years now because I know that we are sooooo meant to be together and I love him with all of my heart. It’s just that when Jimmy gets depressed because of all the cruelty in the world, he pulls away, shutting me out of his life for weeks at a time – which is happening more times than not now. I do my best to be patient, loving and understanding during those times – I call him all the time and leave him loving, supportive messages – but he never responds. So I pray for him, visualize us being together and set intentions for him to heal so that we can have a great life together. He comes back around when he feels better and it feels soooooooooooooo good to be with him – but now he wants to breakup with me because he says that I don’t understand him, otherwise I would have more compassion for him and feel just like he does. I’ve given him a lot of suggestions to help him change, but he doesn’t try any of them because he says that he knows that they won’t help him. I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work, but I’m afraid that it won’t be enough to keep him. I am confused about why our relationship isn’t manifesting the way I want it to because: I love him more than anything in the world, I know what I want, and see us being together. Besides I know we are meant to be together. I’m so scared that you are going to tell me to leave him, but I know that I need your insights! Please help me, I am feeling very scared, desperate and alone!!!
At the same time, the resistance that you are getting from Jimmy; feeling emotionally drained from trying to help him; and working hard to make this happen is all your guidance system telling you that the decisions you’re making and the actions you’re taking are not in your best interest and therefore will not create the relationship that you think you want with him. The doors keep closing but you keep prying them open again, thus going against the flow of manifestation. You don’t trust Jimmy to be there for you, but you’re addicted to how good he makes you feel when you’re together, that’s why you stay around and keep trying to change him. But these actions will only continue to make you feel miserable, for you can’t make a specific person want the same things in a relationship as you.
Take the healing suggestions that you’ve given to Jimmy, to heal the wounded pains within yourself because the pain that you wish to heal within him, is actually the pain you want to heal within yourself. While you’re at it, ask yourself why you’re so insistent upon having a relationship with a man whom you don't really seem to want a relationship with and why you want to be with someone who is unhappy – for these questions will give you some very insightful answers. If you will stop trying to change Jimmy, appreciate him for who he is, stop trying to make things happen, get clarity about what you want in a relationship and become a reflection of what you want to experience in a relationship, then you will feel better and the relationship that you want will show up.
Susie, this isn’t about what I think you should do: it’s about being lovingly honest with yourself about what it is that you want so that you can actually have it. The answers about what you want, the love that you seek, peace and the good feelings are all inside of you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Scared, Desperate & Alone Susie,
The law-of-attraction is very much at work in your relationship with Jimmy, but not in the way that you think it is. You’re trying to get Jimmy to be the man that you want him to be so that he will love you the way that you want him to, instead of loving him for who he is and how he shows up in your relationship. Through these actions, you’re saying that Jimmy isn’t good enough for you the way he is – which tells me that you really don’t want a relationship with him. You are also resisting what you don’t like about Jimmy so you keep experiencing what you don’t want – and that is Jimmy not being there with you. Simultaneously, working so hard to force this to happen with him, indicates that you are unclear about what you want and that you are not in alignment with having this relationship. As such, the outcome that you attracted is that he wants to break up with you.
Life-and-Death Crisis Opens New, Unexpected Doors
A few months ago I spent the night at my boyfriend’s house only because I was too tired to drive home that night. Several hours later, before the sun came up, he found me unresponsive in bed, foaming at the mouth. The first hospital that the paramedics took me too didn’t have the resources to help me with the cracked brain aneurysm that was bleeding into my brain, so I was transferred to another hospital. After surgery and a relatively brief recovery, I was discharged from the hospital without the need for any type of rehabilitative therapy. My unexpected survival and complete, almost immediate recovery weren’t the only shockingly things about my aneurysm, however. The best neurosurgeon in the state just happened to be on duty that morning at the hospital I was transferred to – but I wouldn’t have even made it to the hospital if I had gone home that night because my family wouldn’t have found me until that afternoon and by then it would have been way too late. Family and friends, many of whom I hadn’t heard from in years, reappeared in my life, showering me with so much love and prayers that it brings tears to my eyes and has me convinced that their prayers contributed to my miraculous healing. The aneurysm happened a few weeks before the first anniversary of my mother’s death and just hours after my supervisor resigned from her job, the job I had been in training to take ever since I started working with my company. Everything hit me all at once, causing me to question my life and the direction I’ve been taking. I know that this all happened to me for a reason and that there is something big that I am meant to do – but I don’t know what it is or where to go from here. What is this telling me, how did I create this and where do I go from here?
Dear Seeking Fulfillment
Wow! What a phenomenally miraculous experience you created for yourself in order to awaken from an unfulfilling life that hasn’t been honoring. It feels as if something has been missing and cracked within your life for quite some time now, because you’ve been living in your head, instead of following your heart and living the life that you really want to live. The stress of inauthentic living built up within you: as everything that you’ve held back on became pressurized within your head – bursting when you couldn’t take it anymore, at an “inconvenient time” when so much was at risk, as much anticipated doors began opening. At the same time, what if your boss’s resignation was actually the catalyst for your brain aneurysm? I sense that there was a huge part of you that really didn’t want the promotion at work because it would mean continuing on the same career path, doing the same thing. This is true whether or not you ultimately received the promotion. You have to ask yourself if you really wanted to continue on the same career path or not because the timing of your aneurysm was not coincidental.
Your brain aneurysm manifested in a way to give you the time, space and opportunity to choose whether to transition to the spiritual realm or return to your body with new insights and opportunities that you didn’t have before. It was while you were teetering between life and death that you did some deep, soulful introspection and healing that you’ve been yearning to do for a very long time now - and that inspired you to return to your life. In fact, your miraculous recovery is the result of the introspection and healing that you did which means that the unlimited transformational powers all came from within you. There was no way that you were going to die without any chance of surviving – but at the same time, the circumstances of your illness needed to be so dramatic that you could have died if things hadn’t played out right – so that you could see how fragile and precious your life is; while simultaneously experiencing the synchronistic, highly organized, loving powers of the universe. You also needed to see that you’re not as alone as you thought you were.
You know that you are destined for a bigger greatness in your life so allow that to be your faithful guide. The path is very simple. Just listen to and honor your passionate desires and trust it with all of your heart and soul regardless of how circumstances may appear to be unfolding within each moment. Choose your desires over what you think you should do: for you are weakened when you choose your head over your heart. As you commit to your heart, relationships, old ways of being, perceptions, jobs and everything else that you really don’t want will begin to effortlessly fall to the wayside. It doesn’t matter how “out-there” what you want is. You can live it, experience it, have it and be it – but you have to trust yourself and the universe to come through for you. You have to let go and take that first big leap of faith. You can tap into that soulful introspection for guidance anytime by going within yourself: for the answers to the path that is in your best interest to take, is all within you. ~~
You are here at Ask Faith for a reason .... something unexpected, unknown, synchronistic or magical drew you here....life is full of divine synchronicities, there are no coincidences
Walking in Faith? Or Living in Fear?
The route that you choose charts very different experiences and outcomes
Walking in faith leads you to healing and creates what you want. It is the synchronistic, happy, joyous, loving way.
Fear is the opposite and you already know what fear takes you ....
Which path are you taking?
Intuitive Faith and Law of Attraction Q&A Column
Life is an intuitive journey of deep faith
that you can heal your life and
create whatever it is that you want.
By living & walking in faith
you discover that it's true
and that everything is possible.